The Day My Life Changed Forever.

 July 12, 1983.

The conversation went a little something like this:

Aunt Ann: Lauren, your Dad wants to talk to you.

 (5-year-old  me running to the phone)

Lauren: Hi dad.

Dad: I wanted you to be the first to know that your baby brother is here! His name is Matt. Do you want to come and meet him?

Lauren: Okay.

The end.

So it wasn’t the huge emotional payoff my dad was probably hoping for. I was skeptical. Things were going pretty great in onlychildville.

But then I met him. And damn, he turned out cute.

After awhile, I began to realize the little brat was the best thing Joyce & Jeff ever did for me.

Happy birthday, fatty.