Things I Will Not Wait In Line For

1) Garrett's Popcorn. Sure it's good. But is it stand-in-the-cold-for-30 minutes-with-tourists, good? Nope. Spoiler alert: They sell it at the grocery. And airports. And it smells the same.

2) Any establishment with a name that includes the word "lounge", "bar", or "club". Typically this is not an issue for me as right around the time these idiots are lining up, I'm laying down. This image was selected for a reason. See if you can find it.

These are not my people.

3) Anything that is only on sale between the hours of midnight at 6 AM. I don't care what it is, I don't need it that bad. And also, this happens.

Grandma is about to get taken out.

4) Food Trucks. I am not okay with this trend. None of the food is very good, and also, I do not believe any of these meals on wheels are up to code. It's like eating food prepared in the bathroom of an airplane. #idrathereatmyhair

5) Anyplace that is offering to sell me a wedding dress at 1/2 price. These women look insane, desperate, and also, insane. I would rather wear jeans.

Ladies: This is not a contact sport.

There are things I will wait in line for (good seats at the movies, ice cream in July, Santa), but nothing listed above is worth my time, stomach, and/or limbs.