I've never really been told I look like anyone. No one compares me to celebs or the girl down the hall or even my parents.
So when people started posting on my FB page, texting me at all hours, and stopping me at the corner of State & Lake to tell me that I look like the same person...I started to listen.
Here's my alleged look-a-like:
Oh hello, Maria Bello.
I'll be honest. I wasn't super psyched. She's a decade older than me. I mean, she's not unattractive. She's in great shape. All nice things. But you know what everyone follows those "nice things" up with? The dreaded "...for her age".
FOR.
HER.
AGE.
I guess that's going to start happening as I creep into my mid-30s.
MID
30s
Oh well. It could be worse. People could compare me to Paula Abdul or Michelle Bachman. Or that creepy lady from "Poltergeist".
On the upside, she plays a badass on her show ("Prime Suspect"), so I'm hoping people will start to think I'm super tough. And that I carry a gun.
I seem mean here.
Watch me (her) tonight on "Prime Suspect". It's like Law & Order, only good.
For most people, these 2 things do not correlate. For me, it means the wallet is open.
The recent theme has been shoes.
In my defense, 2 pairs were forced upon me (albeit indirectly), by my brother and his almost wife. I have to go to their wedding & I have to wear 2 different ensembles. Obviously.
The other two were just because I deserve pretty things.
Here's the damage:
Chocolate brown booties that I did not need, but wanted:
Classy black heels to go with my rehearsal dinner dress. They're an investment:
Classic neutral pumps to go with my bridesmaid dress I may or may not break my ankle in:
I used to be DEVOTED to Skippy Creamy (hate that word) Peanut Butter.
I made fun of the "crunchy people" who have abandoned things like orange juice in favor of kombucha (whatever that is) or carrot sticks in favor of jicama (I don't understand what that is either).
But then I tried it.
And I swooned.
I now go through a jar every 10-14 days. Which cannot be the appropriate serving size, but whatever. It's healthy (in the same way 1 avocado = 1 serving).
Anyway, you can find this little bit of heaven at Jewel in the crunchy people section (official title) and at Fox & Obel. Whole Foods only has select favors. #expensivegroceryfail
Fall debuts continued this week...I'm giving 'em a solid B across the board, which means I'll be applying my aforementioned 3-date rule. You each get 2 more. Make 'em count.
"2 Broke Girls" The Good: The casting, especially Kat Denning. I've liked her since Nick & Norah's Amazing Placelist Tape Deck (or whatever that movie was called). There are multiple, "wow, they just said that on network TV (CBS, no less)"-moments, which I respect. Extra bonus? The realistically furnished NYC apartment (I don't want to live there, but I buy that they do).
The Badish: We've seen the upper crust beauty queen loses it all only to be saved by the snarky, down on her luck street smart girl-shtick before (um, "Friends"). The nice twist here is these 2 like each other. And the blond girl isn't dumb, she went to Wharton. This makes her likable and not a Paris Hilton knock-off. The perverted cook/sidekick is uninspired and the least funny character. Hoping he gets written off.
The Verdict: I'm in. Though the premise has been done before, there is enough differentiating it to keep me interested. And I love Kat Denning. I've always wanted to be that snarky. That tough. Or at least friends with someone who is.
"New Girl"
The Good: The 3 sidekicks stole the show for me. Though I cannot remember their character's names at the moment, I liked 'em. The actors (thanks IMDB), Max Greenfield (never heard of him), Jake M. Johnson (don't know you, lose the "M"), and Damon Wayans jr, (apparently he's only in the pilot, we'll see how his replacement does), are all adorably real. And funny. The douche bag guy (Max's character) is probably the least original BUT he inspired some of the best reaction lines outta the other 2, so we'll keep him. Plus, I like the fact that the show wants to revolve around the quirky girl (the one typically cast as the zany sidekick). I miss you Kimmy Gibbler.
The Badish: WE GET IT. YOU'RE ADORABLE. Zooey (being naturally adorable in real life), doesn't need to push some of the character's out there antics as far as she does (really, she showers with a bathing suit on?), just to make us like her. We already do. STOP TRYING SO HARD.
The Verdict: You know, I kind of didn't want to like it (I've been on a bit of an anti-hipster movement of late), but damn if she's not (ultimately) likable. Combine her with those 3 sidekicks, and you just might have a hit.
p.s. Yes, I know that at least one of them will fall in love with her and that the whole show will revolve around a "will they or won't they"/"ross/rachel"-type scenario, but whateves. I predict the softie with a broken a heart will be her lobster.
"Revenge"
The Goodish: The scenery is pretty killer. Madeline Stowe (I've loved her since "The Last of the Mohicans") as the queen of the island is perfection. And call me a simpleton, but I'm intrigued by the plot. The mystery, specifically how all of these rich idiots tie together, has me guessing (moreso than "The Ringer"...sorry SMG).
The Badish: The stereotypical characters. One is hardly discernible from the other. To be clear, I watch pretty much anything on the CW (this includes "One Tree Hill"), so the bar is low. But these good versus evil characters are a bit cartoonish. These folks are one step away from Stefano Dimera & Victor Kiriakas staging a coup.
In addition to the fact that I'm just wired that way, here are the more frivolous reasons I love the 6am-9am window.
1) Dunkin Donuts Hazelnut. My only caffeine of the day. And I love it. Passionately. I would have a 2nd in the afternoon (even though I know it's bad for me), but:
a. It makes my tummy hurt.
b. Grandma can't drink caffeine after 2 or else she can't sleep. For reals.
2) I get to watch the previous evening's "Chelsea Lately". I've been a fan of Miss Handler since I met her 3 years ago and she told me she liked my shirt. She's getting all big & fancy now, but I still love her little show and the band of idiots she puts on TV. Because it comes on at 10 CST (aforementioned Grandma's bedtime), I save it for my post-workout treat.
3) Speaking of exercise, I LOVE getting my daily sweat done in the mornings. Whether it's balancing myself on one-foot, pretending to be a ballerina in Bar Method, or running the empty city streets, the feeling of accomplishing something that's just for me is pretty much the single reason I get out of bed.
Note: Not my butt, but I would like it to be.
4) It's so, so quiet. While I am a morning person in that I like to get up at 6, I am NOT a morning person in that I like to chat for hours before the sun comes up. I like my alone time. 6-9 is all about me. The rest of my day can be about solving other people's problems. I find if I sleep through my morning window, I'm less inclined to want to help others (read: I'm not pleasant) throughout the day.
5) Man it sounds like a Successories poster, but I love the idea that anything can happen. While that's still technically true at noon, it just seems less likely. Once lunch rolls around, I pretty much know how this one is gonna wrap up, you know I mean?
Her delivery makes me laugh every time (and I've seen each of these spots no less than 37x).
I can't decide if the ebay folks (the second to cast her) saw the Toyota spot first and picked her because of her performance OR if it's just random and the actress simply hit the commercial jackpot.
Note: Both spots feature her in front of a computer (or tablet), and her performances are quite similar (tip commercial lady: switch things up if you don't want to fall into the one-note actress category before anyone actually knows your name).
I'm a professional advertiser. These are the things I spend time thinking about. YEP.
Spent the weekend in Lake Geneva with my sister-in-law to be & some of her nearest and dearest.
We hit up the local hotspots...
Picked up a few essentials...
Made all sorts of friends (some being cuter than others)...
Given that this was a bachelorette weekend, I cannot post too many photos (what happens in Lake Geneva, STAYS in Lake Geneva), but I will say that this...
This makes EMMY night 5 must-see hours of programming.
As always, I'm settled in with my besties Guiliana & Ryan. I've decided not to make fun of them this year. I've accepted that they're actually pretty solid at what they do (even if they are fame whores in need of a dose of reality).
To keep things interesting for me (and potentially, you), I'm going to serve up the commentary with my very own awards. Enjoy.
Best oopsie woopsie we wore (almost) the same dress: Nina Dobrev & Kathy Griffin & Adrienne Palicki.
FASHION BLAST: I DON'T KNOW WHAT THIS IS BUT IT'S IN ALL CAPPS AND RUNNING IN THE TICKER ALONG THE BOTTOM OF MY TV SCREEN. THE BREAKING NEWS HAS TO DO WITH JANE LYNCH WEARING 4 DIFFERENT DRESSES.
Best female voice in a male body: Ross Matthews. Oh Ross, I love you in small doses, but tonight is just an extra big dose.
Most likely to be the victim of my stalking: Cat Deely
Biggest poser LITERALLY (see also: Least Likely to be the victim of my stalking): Lea Michelle
Man I predict to be the biggest douche in real life: Ian Somerhalder
Dress most likely to double as a space ship: Juliana Margulies
Best acting: The Charlie's Angels pretending to like each other. Not since the first season of Desperate Housewives has a group of women disliked each other so passive aggressively. Ignore Drew. She always looks like that.
Most consistently disappointing use of a bangin' body: Christina Hendricks
COMMERCIAL BREAK: What's up with the Charlize Theron Dior moviemercial? What happened to her? She was an awards streak until she stopped trying to be ugly.
Best use of dyed saran wrap: Padma Lakshmi
Best use of hypercolor technology in evening wear: Claire Danes
Best unexpected transformation: Aubrey Plaza
Most deserving, but least likely to win (see also: celebrity I wish people compared me to): Connie Britton
Celebrity I've been told I look like no less than 8 times in the last 3 weeks: Maria Bello
Trying to take as compliment but she is 10 years older than me.
Worst man suit, potentially, ever: Joel McHale
Best prom dress I never had (or wanted): Zooey Deschanel (note: I want to watch your show, but not if you wear curtains with rope wrapped around it. In related news, your indiehippybird-act is wearing on me).
Best couple ever: Amy Poehler & Will Arnett. Seriously they're amazebots.
Roller coaster celebrity award (IloveyouIhateyouIloveyouIhateyou): Gwenyth.
Best use of dyed toilet paper vomit: Heidi Klum
Best dressed by a mile: Kate Winslet. Damn.
Time for the show......
Liking the Jane Lynch opener. Not quite Jimmy Fallon's musical genius from last year, but I"ll take it. And also, she should not wear dresses.
In what might be the worst Glee-inspired move of 2011, the band of singers stage left, is tracking (or am I supposed to say "trending") to be biggest fail of the night (but it's early). Come on Joel McHale. You're 0 for 2.
Best Supporting Actress in a Comedy: Julie Bowen (I dig her, but man she needs to eat a casserole and also, I see her left nip).
Best Supporting Actor in a Comedy: Ty Burell. Approve.
CHARLIE SHEEN IS TALKING AND IT'S MAKING ME NERVOUS. THEY AREN'T CUTTING TO THE AUDIENCE BECAUSE THEY'RE ALL THINKING THE SAME THING I AM. #apologyfail
Best Actor in a Comedy: That guy from The Big Bang Theory again.
Best Actress in a Comedy: GENIUS BIT (Yes, I know it was scripted, but I don't care). WOMEN ARE FUNNIER THAN MEN. If you missed their bit, find it on youtube. And congrats to Melissa McCarthy, who I'm pretty sure won because of "Bridesmaids" run-off, but whateves.
In a series of unsurprising/uninteresting awards:
Best Reality Show: Amazing Race
Best Musical/Variety/Whatever this category is: The Daily Show
LONEY ISLAND IS PERFORMING WITH MICHAEL BOLTON AND MAYA RUDOLPH. AND AKON. Good stuff.
Why is Sookie there? And also, is Scott Caan technically a little person?
Best Writing for a Drama Series: FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS!!!! Finally some love for the best show on TV.
Best Supporting Actress in a Drama: Margo Matrtindale. I gasped when it looked like she wasn't getting up the steps, but Ashton saved her. In other news, if you're not watching Justified, you should be.
Best Supporting Actor in a Drama: Peter Dinklage. He's great on "Game of Thrones". And also, he's handsome. For serious.
Martin Scorcese wins for directing something because he's there.
Best Actress in a Drama: I don't care what Nurse Hathaway is saying in her stupid space ship dress. Tammy Taylor should be up there.
BEST ACTOR IN A DRAMA: COACH TAYLOR COACH TAYLOR COACH TAYLOR!
Boring Miniseries awards go to a series of British people.
Um, is the in memoriam for serious? They're walking up the aisles. People in the seats can't tell if it's real or if The Lonely Island are back.
Best Actor/Actress in a Miniseries or Move: Guy Pearce and Kate Winslet. I'm good with this. Mainly because I actually saw their performances and they were solid. I also dig that Kate is pretty clear on the fact she's psyched she won. Love that honesty.
Best Drama: Ehh. Mad Men. I mean, I like the show, I do. But it's no FNL.
