Hipster Dee-Lite

I don't like street fests.

The above picture makes them seem so great. But the reality is they're hot. Sweaty. Crowded. And filled with all kind of stuff (crap) that just confuses me.

Some of it I get. Things like stationary. Retro. Pretty. It does make me feel bad about not sending more cards, but that's on me, not the lady dressed like Laura Ingalls Wilder selling it at her booth.

Punny (not a typo) t-shirts. Sure, these are played out, but they seem to clothe 80% of the males in my industry, so I appreciate the functionality (and coverage).

But here's where the skinnyjean-knitcap-putabirdonit-crew confounds me.

1) Wooden Ties. I thought one of the Hipster Tenants is "Thou shalt not conform to the idiocies of corporate America". So why take fashion cues from 'em? It's still a tie.

2) Saccharine-y sweet signs with 0.0 purpose. I don't live in a diner in 1961.

3) Plush penises. Yep. What's that call like to your parents?

Dad of Plush Penis-maker: "Hey honey, how are those art classes going?"
Plush Penis-maker: "Awesome! I've decided to corner the market on plush penises in street fests across the midwest."

NO PHOTO NECESSARY

4) Organic/raw/no-sugar wine. Even if you have an AWESOME cut-out for me to pose in, it does not make your wine delicious.

I've stated many times that I am NOT into Kaput Kapot or macrame. But, to be honest, there's a part of me that loves that all of these blunt-cut-bangs and oversized glasses have found a home. I just don't want to wear anything made of hemp.

That is all.