"Book smart can be a little boring." - Courtney, the catalog model.
Date One: Emily & Ben Climb a Bridge - SPOILER ALERT: IT'S A METAPHOR!
Well, it turns out, Courtney was right. Smart people are boring. This date was a snooze, though there were some gem quotes.
"This is the craziest thing Emily & I have ever done." -Ben (please keep in mind this is their first date).
"A bridge takes two things that are separate and puts them together."-Emily, who coincidentally, has her PHD.
Em gets a rose despite the fact that she revealed that she basically dated her brother via Match.com.
Date 2: Leap List- SPOILER ALERT: IT'S A METAPHOR!
Apparently a "leap list" is a list of things you want to do before you do something major in your life like, oh, I don't know, GET MARRIED. This show keeps 'em comin'.
This might be the most demeaning stunt this show has pulled thus far. Watching the girls "ski" down a street in a bikini was horrifying. The fact that these idiots did it, proves that there is nothing dumb girls in blind search of fame or love won't do.
Date 3: Britney Is Conflicted. She Too Missed All Previous Seasons of this Show.
Apparently living with 25 girls "isn't for her".
"I have to leave forever". - Britney.
"This, by far, was the hardest decision I've ever had to make." - Britney
Grandma is going to be sad.
Date 3.5: Britney's Replacement.
Ben takes his back up Linsey on a tour of San Fran.
Astute question #1: "Where are we now?"- Lindsey (said while driving under sign that says "Chinatown").
Observation #1: Oh jesus they're bad dancers.
Amazing Text #1: "Babe welcome to Dumpsville, Population You."-Lindsey's ex.
Astute question #2: "Lindsey is a whole woman." - Ben
Pukefest #1: HE'S PLAYING DAVID GREY AGAIN.
Rose Ceremony: Shawntel
"You're like, dreamy." - Jennifer to Ben, virtually securing herself a spot in Sadsville.
In a twist that shocked exactly no one, Shawntel is here to date Ben. My theory is as follows: These 2 Bachelor alums met at a Bachelor-sponsored event and totally hooked up. She felt a spark. He felt, well, something for the night. ABC caught wind of this fling & jumped on it like white on rice.
I love that the girl's hatred for Shawntel is best expressed by screaming "YOU DON'T KNOW HIM." Because they do, America, THEY DO.
"She's got thicker thighs than I do, which always makes me feel better." - Unidentifiable Brunette.
Courtney "The Grenade" Catalog Model had some gem moments/quotes throughout the evening:
-She tries to stir things up on the couch by saying or doing something I just couldn't follow (or care about), but it was just enough to do the damage ABC ordered.
-"Courtney has a social disorder." - Emily
-"I think we'd make cute babies." - Courtney to Ben who is so whipped by her model status that doesn't even freak him out.
"This is whack, I'm sorry." - Courtney on Shawntel's arrival.
"I saw you talking to whatsherbutt".- Classy rose acceptance speech.
Alas, Shawntel's antics were all for not as she (and the other 2 rejects) got the boot and Ben stayed in the original "ladies" good graces.
Until next week, I'll leave you with this gem:
America!
I'm writing a new book. It's called "All I Really Need To Know About Bachelor Season 16 I Learned on SevenGrayFall". I'm pretty sure it's going to be a bestseller.
ReplyDeletecommenting in depth would admit that I've watched the show, but it is ridiculous that Ben is enamored with the model just because of her occupation.
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