THE BACHELOR IS BACK

I'm not sure if you've seen the promo or if you caught Monday's premiere, either way, there's no chance the following could ever get old:

Well played ABC.

It is my commitment to you, dear readers, to provide you with a recap of the show every Tuesday. Why? Because I love you. And also, it gives me an excuse to feel 0.0 guilt for watching the deliciousness unfold each week.

Here are some of my early favorites based on last night's show (a few didn't make it, but I'll post about them here to extend there 5 minutes):

Amber T (aka Sob Story):

Pro: She seems normal-ish. Can't hate a nurse who raised her siblings. Con: Bad fashion.

Blakeley (aka Stupid Name):

Pro: She's a VIP Cocktail Waitress (sure she is) with a tattoo that says "love is patient, love is kind". Con: None that I can see as her name is Blakeley.

Courtney (aka Catalog Model):

Pro: She looks like the kind of girl who would cut a bitch. Con: She thinks she's starring in her own reality show (which may, in fact, be a pro).

Holly (aka The Muppet):

Pro: Umm. Con: Sometimes the ones that look crazy are actually a snooze.

Jenna (aka Jenna Jessica Parker): 

Pro: See the promo video. JJP likes her Chardonnay. Con: I predict an early exist.

Monica (aka Equal Opportunity):

Pro: She hates Jenna Jessica Parker and she hits on women. Con: Pretty sure she's not interested in Ben. He should catch on when he sees her spooning Blakeley (aka Stupid Name).

Lyndsie J (aka The Brit):

Pro: She's not the cutest, but her accent is endearing. Con: He will likely put her in the "friend zone".

Lindzi C (aka ZZZ):

 

Pro: America will love her. Con: I predict she'll have her own Bachelorette season (in other words she won't win).

I look forward to mocking the dialog, the back-stabbing, and the awkward making out in waterless hot tubs. Cheers to these ladies for making women 23-35 look awesome. 

You're welcome Gloria Steinem!

Quotes of the night:

JJP: "Why does she hate me out of no where?"
Blond Man Voice: "Cause that's what girls do".

Equal Opportunity: "If she comes at me latahhhh, I'm gonna cut her face off."

Holiday Roundup

It's been a wonderfully long week of Holiday relaxation.

As previously noted, I was lucky to be able to travel south, spending a week in South Carolina, my parents new home. Though much was the same as year's past, instead of bundling up for a trip Skyline, we shed the layers for a walk on the beach...

Skipped the gym in favor of biking in the hood...

Christmas Eve dinner in instead of out...

We pretended Jeremy was there.

Some things were not so different...

Tequila shots on xmas eve.

 

Monkey Bread on Christmas morning. (Don't judge on appearance).

 

The nation is catching on!

Since I've been back in Chicago, I've managed to watch no less than 7 movies (more on that later), read two books (ditto), and caught up on "Breaking Bad" & "The Walking Dead (ditto squared).

Looking forward to whatever 2012 has in store!

Oh Yeah, And We Like To Dance

Sometimes photos are taken when you're not watching. This can be super creepy (read: peeping tom) and/or kinda magical.

A wedding photographer snapped this series of Jeremy & I earlier this year at my brother's wedding. They capture our happiness, and more importantly, our passion for The Dance.

Enjoy.

Pints, Quarts, Tablespoons, Liters, And Other Things I Don't Get

The title of this post is the working title of my upcoming autobiography.

No it's not (thoughitcouldbe).

Measurements, metrics, rulers, those metal things you use to create circles (can't think of the name, but they look like this):

have always been my achilles heel. I distinctly remember my dad sitting me on the kitchen counter with all of the contents of our refrigerator surrounding me. He was so desperately trying to get me to understand how many of the half 'n half containers were needed to fill up the milk carton. Or how many of the milk containers were needed to fill the gallon of juice.

I didn't get it.

I still don't. Unfortunately for me, this is the one thing you learn in math class that you actually DO need in real life. Every time I bake, I have to look up the same conversion questions. I actually have them bookmarked on my phone.

Why can I remember that Jennifer Aniston promised to make Brad Pitt banana milkshakes in their wedding vows? Or that Nicole Kidman wore a hideous yellow dress to the Oscars the first time she went as Tom Cruise's date? How is this helpful?

As I sit here typing this very second, I cannot tell you with confidence how many sticks of butter equal a cup. And I made 3 dozen cookies 2 days ago.

If I have to remember, so do you.

My Favorite Christmas Movie

"It's A Wonderful Life"? Nope.
"Love Actually"? Nope.
"Muppet Christmas Spectacular"? Nope.

All of the above are valid options, but mine is a bit more obscure.

It's a gem of made-for-TV tale of a family's plight to save Santa's house.

Why should you watch it?

1) It stars Art Carney and Jacqueline Smith.
2) The child actors are BRILLIANT. They make those Fanning sisters look like schlubs.
3) The story uses that age-old plot device where an evil corporation wants to drill oil on a beautiful piece of property (in this case, Santa's yard). Cue multiple gratuitous shots of bull dozers creeping closer & closer to the candy cane village.
4) The scenes that take place in Santa's workshop feature special effects that will make you miss movies that don't require 3-D glasses.
5) The end may or may revolve around Santa's sleigh and the moon.

Watch Part 1 here. Don't worry, the other 11 parts can be found on Youtube. You won't be sorry.

Weekend Roundup: Christmas #1

I finally got myself in the Christmas spirit this weekend thanks to following festive fun:

14th Annual Gift Greedy Gift Exchange with some of my nearest & dearest...

And a Saturday filled with a retro movie marathon:

Hijinks ensue.

More on this little gem tomorrow.

Cookie-baking...

Present-opening...

On Sunday, 2 of my besties & I went to lunch with the posh crowd at RL...

We did not eat outdoors.

And watched Charlize do her best to be a 30-year-old who peeked in high school.

Short work-week...and a trip to South Carolina in just 3 short days!

Christmas Traditions

This year's Christmas will be different for my family.

1) We'll be in South Carolina, versus Cincinnati (pro: warm weather, con: no Skyline).
2) We'll have a new member of the family at our table (all pros).

3) We're trading in the 5 hour car trip for 1 hour flight. (pro: no Indiana, con: O'hare).
4) I get to have an extra Christmas on Saturday with this guy:

So in honor of our first official Christmas, I've decided to start our own holiday tradition. It will include the following:

-Favorite Christmas movie viewing party ("Elf", "Pee Wee Herman's Christmas Special", and "Miracle on 34th Street").
-Home-cooked meal (steak & lobster with mac & cheese).
-Christmas cookie decorating (Jeremy can hardly contain his excitement for this one).
-GIFT EXCHANGE (taking a page out of alovelyescape.blogspot.com 's book, we've purchased 4 gifts for each other, something we need, something we want, something to wear, and something to read).

Though I will miss my friend on Christmas, I'm pretty psyched for this weekend's pre-Christmas, Christmas.